I thought my title was compelling. Didn't you? Worked pretty hard on it. Awful and Beautiful don't commonly belong together. However, this is the perfect way to describe how the past few weeks of my life has been. I have moaned and groaned a lot this year, about not being able to hit up the Mexican home that I love so dearly with my family. This tradition is something I look forward to every year. I start making lists in July of things I want to do down there December, months before December I am scavenging the Internet to find more fun activities, or things to do there. Not only does my family go, but my ENTIRE family is down there. Seriously all the Loveless' and their friends, and their friends. Usually there is between 100- 200 people down there that are all for our reunion. It is out of control, and the most fun anyone has ever had. Guaranteed.
This year I wasn't going to experience any of that, I was going to have to see my family post pictures and tell stories for the rest of the year that I don't get to be a part of. It seriously broke my heart. The worst part was that during this holiday season where you have so much time off of work to spend with family, I didn't have my family. I couldn't call them, they couldn't email me. For the past 3 weeks, I have spoken to my momma 3 times, my dad and brothers only once.
Aside from this, I was also excited to be able to have a few days off work to be with Jared, and just do our thang. We did do a lot of things too. We started our own traditions, we hung out with great friends, drank lots of cocoa, and spent time with his family. It really was becoming a balance of sad and happy. I would be so happy, but then sad that I wasn't in Mexico doing what I have done every year for my whole life. It was seriously a tear of emotions.
With some friends at temple square
Christmas drew closer, and our presents under our tree in our wonderfully decorated house (we even had
our kitchen cupboards hanging Christmas lights) grew larger. A feeling of Christmas jitters took over, I was so excited to open presents that Jared and I got for each other. We really spoiled each other this year. It's pretty much the only year we have been together that we've had extra cash flow around this time of year. We even went out and got Shia present, so she would have a few to open on Christmas. She loves opening presents.
Shia opening presents
Then something awful happened. My great grandma passed away on my mom's birthday. December 22nd. It was really hard to deal with this. I had such a hard time, because I was incredibly alone. I woke up upset, because I couldn't call my mom on her birthday, nor could I participate in going to Panama (restaurant in Mazatlan) that we go to each year for her birthday and get the french toast. Later that day I got a text letting me know my grandma was doing really poorly. She was extremely old, but that doesn't make it much easier to deal with. My real grandma passed on my mom's side when I was very young after losing a long battle to cancer. So my great grandma Grace was my maternal Grandma. I called her Grandma, and she came to graduations, birthdays, celebrations, and she was always there bring a grandma. During this time I had no way of getting ahold of my family. I was frantically emailing/ texting/ calling even though I knew that they'd only see any emails if they would get the patchy Internet to work. My grandma passed around 5pm, and I was devastated, but I also was so concerned that my mom would find out through Facebook if she happened to log on, before seeing my emails. That is what I couldn't stand to happen. I finally received a call from my mom around 11pm, and after I told her everything I knew. We both just cried on the phone. There was no way she could get back form the funeral. I had to handle that passing of my grandma without the shield of my parents. It was really hard. It is still really hard. My parents and family still aren't back in the US, but they are coming and I cannot wait to just see their cute faces.
Come Christmas Eve Jared and I went on and did his families traditions, went to Grandpa and Ma DeMann's for an Eve party with all the aunts and uncles and cousins. Even though it wasn't what I was used to, it was so wonderful to be surrounded by family again. We talked, joked, smirked and played games which seriously almost put out 5 eyes. PVC pipes and foam darts can be pretty dangerous. I found out some cousins are expecting and other are getting married. It is such a fun family to be part of. It helped ease some of the loss and pain that I was bundling up inside me. We cam home, and decided Shia, Jared and I could open presents, then we also gave our roommates their presents. Jared told me this story about how when the power would go out when he was little it was his favorite time. Everyone would light candles, and play games that they made up and you were forced to sit and talk and entertain one another by interacting. He wanted to kill the power in our house from the time we got home from the grandparents until we fell asleep to almost humble ourselves and so we'd spend time together. It was such a great idea. I was a little nervous thinking, what would we do without power! But we lit tons of candles. I think we had over 20 upstairs. We cheated a little because we muted the TV, but had it on the fireplace station, so that it helped set the mood. We talked about Christmas traditions, about my grandma grace, about Mexico, about growing up with all his siblings, and everything else you can think about and then we decided to read a book out loud to each other, and take turns reading. We read "My booky wook" by Russel Brand. It was the perfect Christmas Eve.
blow darts at chrsitmas eve
Our roomies presents
Justin, with the most awful face on, in front of our tree.
Laughter opening his present.
I was decorating Justin's dog, duke. Wearing the cutest scarf, my bff Ellen got me.
Jare on the Ever reading by candlelight.
Christmas was hard. We went over to Jared's families at 8am in our pajamas, and opened present with everyone and had a delicious breakfast. Once again it was nice to be with family, but it did make me miss mine. I imagined them on the beach doing the traditional Christmas Skits with the big potluck dinner, then after going boogie boarding together. Even though there is no snow here this year, it's still not the beach! After the DeManns, we came home. Our eyes were exhausted, but the sun wasn't all the way up yet, and so we decided to open our presents. Which was a blast. Jared was so stoked on all his presents, so was I. I am so lucky, because that kid can seriously pick out clothes that are cuter than I can. I am constantly wearing things he bought me and am always getting compliments. He even bought me shoes, what boy can pick out cute shoes? Jared! My favorite gift that I gave him was a carry on suitcase. Jared has a compulsive personality, where he gets something stuck in his head and can't stop thinking about it. For reasons unknown he has been obsessing over carry-ons. We don't go anywhere, but he wanted one so bad. I had been on many many MANY shopping adventures where we spend half and hour unzipping all the pockets and strolling them around the store. Probably pissing off tons of salesman, wasting their time. I found one that was reasonably priced, and had to get it for him. I don't know why he wanted it. I don't know when he will use it, but he looked as happy as a 5 year old girl, who just got a pony. After we opened presents, we decided it was due time for a nap. He strolled his new suitcase in, and set it right next to the bed, and seriously had his hand on it while we were napping. The kid is cute. It was a good gift, because after Christmas we decided to take a 4 vacation. Which Jared had planned and left it all as a surprise. That's the next post!
Our nephew colt giving me a present, and opening it for me, then doing the same for everyone else
The mess at Jared's parents, notice also the fireplace channel.
Our mess after mine and Jareds christmas.
some presents on the counter
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and are ready for a new year! =)
Miss you already!