I only have a short story for you today, but it’s pretty intense so you might want to sit down. I had a LG Dr. Pepper for lunch, plus I have been working on my 10 oz NOS today as well, so needless to restate, but I will anyway, I have had a lot of liquids to contain today. I have probably had to pee at least once an hour with this contestant flow of liquid. Around 2pm I realized I was about to burst open, and got up to hit the bathrooms when the phone rings. I was on the phone for at least 15 minutes, as I was doing the dance under my desk. After the call ends I JUMP up and sprint to the bathroom. I was so excited when I was only one turn away. Then I make that turn and BAM! The bathrooms are closed. I even peak in and am shoo’d away. I am defeated, and slouch back to my office. About 10 minutes later I know this could possibly a million time worse than my first day incident.. so I decide to take and adventure and find a new bathroom. I’ve only been here 2 weeks, so thing are still new. I have to mention that the elevators are SO slow here. Seriously, and I don’t know where the stairs are.. I should find that out. Anyway, the middle elevator is the worst you could seriously drop a feather from the empire state building and it would hit the ground before you’ve made it down 1 floor on the elevator. I probably am not even exaggerating. I
Of course, I am stuck on the middle elevator, making awkward small talk with a second thrid floor native, who made me stop for him. FINALLY I make it all the way down to the lobby, and am contemplating driving to a gas station to use their facilities. Then I notice a lady walking away with a “closed for cleaning” sign, and I do the potty hop across the hall and over to the bathroom and it’s OPEN! I have never been so excited to go into a stall in ALL my life!
After that, I used my magic badge, and made the trek back up stairs to my office.
Moral of the story… WHO CLOSES THE BATHROOM DURING OFFICE HOURS? That’s a disaster in the making.
oh, i would have shoo'd the lady right back and said its either in the toilet or on the floor for you to mop up, you decide.
ReplyDeletebut im a stubborn lady like that.
I am way to timid to be all up in someones grill. I need to work on my timid-ness, because it could have cost me a pee in the pants yesterday!
DeleteThis is my life. Caffiene skips all other intestines and goes straight to my bladder. I am glad you didn't pee your pants!!
ReplyDeleteME TOO! caffeine is all up in my bladder. Im pretty sure it's out to get me.
DeleteNot going to lie, this happens to me all the time at the worst times!!! I am like a kindergartener when it comes to wait time too! 'bad news
ReplyDeleteI am the same way! I seriously get the pee urge and am just done for, and barely can have any amount of patience, I need a bathroom!
DeleteSounds like something that would totally happen to me. I have a bladder the size of a pea...I ALWAYS have to pee. Glad you got to a bathroom just in time...
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with us?? I will drink like a cup of water, and I have to pee right after! I think you're right, we have baby tiny pea bladders!
DeleteHaha, you have such great stories from your job. Glad to hear at least there wasn't a horrible accident. I'm not sure who would close a bathroom though, that sounds like sheer stupidity
ReplyDeleteIt is sheer stupidity, it's like they want us to pee our pants. Rude! I really love my job, and nothing bad happens here, so when I almost pee myself it's breaking news! ha ha!
DeleteThat's so mean! Why! Why do that. Okay. Okay, hold on. I got it. Okay, as the master of "nervous peeing," I would have just flailed and gone to the boys'restroom at some point--ahem, excuse me, "men's restroom." I have short hair. I could fit in. Somehow.
ReplyDeleteRight? It's just real quick?
Clearly would have gotten kicked out of this job,
Di
I thought about it, I really did, but there is like a 50 boys to 1 girl ratio and I think I would have been so much more timid to walk into a FULL mens restroom. I'd see all their man junk!
DeleteOMG that is actually the TORST feeling when you have to go! LIke totally! I had a similar experience at my husband's company Christmas party last year. Everyone met for drinks over at his coworkers house (I think I had like 3...small ones okay!). Then the party bus came to pick us up to look at Christmas lights before we headed to the restaurant for dinner. About 5 minutes into the ride I had to go SOOOO bad. It was almost to the point where I was about to ask the driver to pull over at a gas station. That would have been so awkward with all his coworkers and spouses. I was holding it so hard that it actually hurt! Ha. Fast forward 20 more minutes later. I'm about to burst at this point, we make it to the restaurant and I literally was running inside to use the restroom. I think I peed for like 5 minutes straight! No lie! With that said, I feel your pain girl! And for real what's with closing down a bathroom during work hours. Silly people. What would have made your story more exciting was if you forgot your badge to get you back up the elevator!! Hahaha. (sorry for the long post!)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha, you are the best. I love your long posts. Especially when I read them 3 times because they make me laugh so hard. I have been on those party bus things, and it's way embarrassing to use the bathroom (when they have them) on the bus, because there are like 7 people less than a foot away from you. I think that if you stopped the bus at a gas station you would have been the talk of the party.
DeleteI also love that feeling like, you've been waiting to get to the bathroom and it's finally like 50 feet away and the only thing on your mind is how you're going to get there.
ha ha ha! I find that I tend to relax most when I am in newsagents and libraries, which tends to kick my *ahem* bowels into action so 9 times out of 10 when I am in the library or newsagents I have to do a quick exit and do that happy dance outta there... there is nothing like the awkward conversation with a person when there is only one place you want to be! ha ha...
ReplyDeleteha ha! Yes that is the awkward conversation I was having on the phone yesterday. I like was trying so hard to give short direct answers, because I was about to die!
DeleteOhhh man. As I server, I have to hold that pee in for so many hours at time many times a week, because I just don't have enough free moments to escape to the bathroom. It is like the worse feeling ever... and then the best feeling ever when you finally get to a toilet. The even crappier part is the one where I get UTI's because of this nonsense. Ah, the life of a waitress! It ain't always pie and coffee!
ReplyDeleteDude, I remember when I was a hostess. You are like never able to slip away. I am sure it's like 50 times worse as a server too. The life of a waitress is never pie and coffee. It is hard work! blood and sweat!
DeleteAh I hate when that happens! On my first day at my current (and first real job after college), I went to a presentation with my boss and a coworker. During that presentation, I drank my entire big water bottle. Then, we went to lunch, and I had three glasses of water. We were driving on the freeway when it hit-- I HAD to go pee! To make things worse, we were 15 minutes from our office, and we were in traffic. I was in the backseat of my bosses car, squirming. Once we made it back to our office, I quickly jump out of the car, and my coworker goes, "Someone's in a hurry to get away from us!" (Remember, this is my FIRST day!). And I just say, "Look, I really need to go to the bathroom." So they finish unpacking the car while I am running to the downstairs bathroom-- LOCKED! So, I run to the elevator and get on the same one they are in. I finally made it to the bathroom. When I came back to the office, my boss asked, "Feeling better now?"
ReplyDeleteI was a little embarrassed, but I'm thankful I didn't pee in my boss's car. Yikes.
ha ha ha ha ha! I love that story. I seriously am laughing my guts out reading it. I am so happy you didn't pee in your boss' car. That would have been way worse, and I think they would have fired you. That's reason to fire someone, I bet. Blake you crack ME UP!
DeletePreach it sista. And people keep telling me to drink more water. Don't they know I have to go a million times a day as it is? Maybe you can move your desk closer to the gals room...just sayn'
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way! People always tell me to drink more water, and I am like WHY you want me to pee myself?? I just need to work in the girl bathroom...
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